Did you check your horoscope this morning? If astrology told you that you're going to be meeting a tall dark stranger (again), you better keep your eye out. The last time the celestial bodies told you to do something, mercury was in gatorade so the prediction was all messy. This time, the planets are aligning in your favor, so every thing in your life has become a sign. Frankly, whatever keeps you in a positive mood with the current dating environment. The bleakness of single life encroaches every day as you match with every f-boy in the city, swiping left on all the finance bros, gym rats, and unemployeed freeloaders. Mr. Right will swing through one day when the planets are lined up just right– until then, you'll just misread every romantic situation based on your morning's fortune.
Want to read more about raunchy singledom? Check out this story about a bachelorette party off the rails and a prude younger sister who ruins everything.